Losing Yourself

I had some great friends growing up as a child. In that statement you are probably taken back to some people in your life too. The neighbor down the street was cool. His name was Kevin. He had every kind of Tonka toy you could imagine! He lived there about a year and then had to move to Texas. That year kids at school learned that a baby kangaroo is called a “Joey.” Here came the jokes. “Hey Joey. How was last night in your mom’s pouch?” “Hey Joey, how’s it hopping?” “Hey Joey, jump up there and get that for me!” I hated my name. Yes, my name is Joel, but since my dad and I had the same first name, everyone called me little Joey. I hated that. So, I changed my name to Kevin. I put “Kevin” on all my papers I turned in. It got so bad that my teacher had to get my parents to come in for a conference. I almost had to go to therapy.
After that, things got better. I found out I had talent in baseball. I was left handed and had amazing accuracy as a pitcher. I became a little popular. Chicks digged me. School became fun. Life became fun. Everyone wanted me on their team. I could have lived that way forever. I never wanted things to change.
But things change. Everything is constantly changing from one day to the next. We moved around a lot. My dad pastured small churches and attended seminary when I was a child so we never lived in any place for more than a year or two. I think I added up that I have lived in 38 different homes since childhood. That has instilled in me a sense of change over the years. That, and the reason that my mom wanted to rearrange the furniture in every room twice a week. I hated that! Oh well, now I realize it made her happy. We never could afford many things, so I guess if you move stuff around a lot it makes you feel like it is different stuff.
Teeth change. I had to get braces. I remember one baseball game when I was catching. A play was going to be made at third base so I ran to back the third baseman up and the ball tipped his glove and hit me in the mouth. We dug my lip off of the braces and I spit blood for a few minutes. But I went back and played the rest of the game. We called the dentist that night and he performed three root canals. It was amazing. You would think after going through that that I would make sure and wear my retainer and keep the straight teeth that I worked so hard to get. But no; I hated the retainer. About a year later my teeth were back the way they were to start with.
Lives change. In the Book of Luke chapter 8 we are told the story of a woman…
…Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, 2and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; 3Joanna the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod’s household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.
Luke 8:1-3 (NIV emphasis added) .

Did you ever wonder how Jesus paid the bills while He was traveling? We are told here that several women travelled around with Jesus and twelve and they supporting the cause out of their own pockets! How cool is that! Especially this Joanna lady. She was the wife of the guy who took care of all the finances of Herod – the guy who was trying to get rid of Jesus. Jesus had gone around proclaiming and kingdom that was not Herod’s and Herod didn’t like that very much. But because of Joanna, she was taking Herod’s money and using it to support the man Herod hated! Awesome! I like her.
But also in this ragtag group of women was one of the better-known women in the New Testament, Mary Magdalene. Did Mary just happen to be in the right place at the right time? Did Mary hear about this new Rabbi that was able to heal people and ran to where He was supposed to be traveling? Was she introduced to Jesus by one of her friends? Another one of those questions that apparently God doesn’t want answered. One thing we do know – she had specifically seven demons living inside of her and Jesus cast them out. Can you imagine? Can you imagine that evil living inside of you? I can’t but she can. Can you even begin to imagine how thankful, how gracious she was to Jesus for giving her a new life? Can you imagine how dedicated she would be to the man who gave her life? For changing her? She would never again be the same.
She followed Jesus wherever He went. She would never leave His side. She became one of the people who would listen to His every word as He spoke the Parables, the teachings, the comfort words of life given to those around him. Jesus was “traveling about from one town to another, proclaiming the goods news of the kingdom of God” (Luke 8:1). She went wherever he did. She had new life and she owed every part of her life to Him. Without Him she was possessed by evil. She walked with Him. She saw Him at His best when people from every village they came to would line up with the hundreds to be healed. The most powerful king in the land (Herod) was after Him so He kept on the move, not because He was scared for His life but because He was “proclaiming the news of the kingdom of God” (Luke 8:1). She spent weeks, months, perhaps years traveling, eating, walking, studying, discussing, meeting people with Jesus. There is a bond there that no caterpillar dozer could ever tear apart. She saw Him at His best.
She saw Him at His very best. “Near the cross of Jesus stood His mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene” (John 19:25). She is watching her friend, her master, her healer, her teacher…DIE. Her heart is ripped out. And then a couple of days later, she is in the garden where they have buried Jesus. All the other disciples have left. They have gone home (John 20:10), “but Mary stood outside the tomb crying” (v. 11). She couldn’t stand to leave him. She couldn’t go home. We don’t even know if she had a home. She peaked in the tomb. Things didn’t look just right. The stone was rolled away. Where is Jesus? He is not there.
“…as she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. 13They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?” “They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize it was Jesus…”

Somebody has taken Him. “I can’t stand not being near Him. I have to be near Him. I don’t care how shiny you are. I don’t care if you are angels are not. I don’t even care that I am standing here talking to angels. I want to know where my Lord is! You have to tell me where He is. Another unanswered question. Before she can even get an answer from the angels (who, by the way, knew the right answer), Jesus shows up.
15”Woman,” he said, “why are you crying? Who is it that you are looking for?” Thinking it was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

The exact same question as the angels. Why are you crying? Didn’t you listen to everything I was teaching you when I was alive the first time? Didn’t you hear me say that I would have to die and then come back in three days? I guess not. Mary didn’t know it was Jesus. She was so sincere. Every tear that falls from her cheeks are filled with sincerity. “I want to know where He is so I can be with Him.”

16Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward Him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).

Isn’t it amazing that all Jesus has to do is say our name? The amazing God of the universe knows our name and speaks to us by calling us by name. He speaks to us specifically. He didn’t reach out to her and claim who He was. It was only the sound of His voice and she knew. It was only the words from His lips and she knew.
With just the sound of his voice she changed what she was actually there doing. She went from looking for his body, to wanting to hold on to Him and never let Him go again. Things were going to be the way they used to be! Everything is going to be okay! We are going to be together again! She could not control her emotions!
17Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and to your God.’” 18Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that He had said these things to her.”

Then Jesus responds a little different than expected. It kind of takes me back to the “close talker” on Seinfeld, or times in the car when my sister would scream “will you stop touching me!” “Do not hold on to me…” If Christ is the perfect picture of Love, compassion and grace, why doesn’t He embrace her back? Why doesn’t He take her in His arms and comfort her. I mean, she has just watched Him die! The most important MEN in His life have all gone home and she is the only one who has hung around! Why? I guess maybe another one of those questions God doesn’t want to answer at this moment.
Here’s a thought. Maybe it shot through Mary’s mind (which, of course, Jesus could read)…”Yes! Things are going to be the way they used to be!” And Jesus responds before she could even get the words out…”No. Things have changed. Go and tell the others that things have changed.”
So, disappointed, happy…flooded with emotions (with me, I think it would be, “how’d He do that?” like watching an episode of Chris Angel or someone on Ripley’s Believe it or Not) she goes and does what Jesus says. She goes and tells the others. The “others” are the disciples. They now discover that He is alive. What are their reactions? “Yes! He’s back and better than ever! Not only is He Jesus…He is now risen from the dead without any help Jesus! He’s going to take this thing to a whole new level. It’s going to be great!”
In the book of Acts, when Jesus spends His last few days with His disciples, He realizes they have not yet understood. They don’t get it. They still think that everything is going to be the way it was, maybe even better than before.

4“On one occasion, while He was eating with them, He gave them this command: ‘Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. 5For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.’”
Acts 1:4-5

Wait here. My father is going to give you something that will blow you away! It’s one of His unbelievable promises that will empower you! It will ignite you! It will be so much better than just having me around with you! Their response…

6So when they met together, they asked Him, ‘Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?’”
Acts 1:6

You can just see the look on Jesus’ face. It’s the same look when I was a kid and my mom would give me instructions on doing something. It didn’t take me long to master the art of “selective hearing.” I only heard what I wanted to hear. You had to have my undivided attention and not be standing between me and the Cowboys game on TV if you really wanted me to hear and understand. Suddenly I would get the reverberation, “Did you hear me? Are you listening to me?” And I could never respond honestly with a smile and a “yes!” but I did anyway. And then it would be the opportunity to repeat back what was said to me and I could never do it. That was always followed by the great proclamation that I was just like my father. That was exactly what I was trying to do in life anyway, right? But it seemed like I was taking the scenic road of arriving at that destination.
The disciples were no different. They might have been listening, but they weren’t paying attention. Their minds were on other things. Their minds were clouded still with the conception that Jesus was now going to be the ruler of all things and set up His kingdom and take over the world! So Jesus gives them one of those, “didn’t you just hear what I said?” statements. One of those, “oh crud” moments when you have been caught not listening to what was being said to you. So Jesus responds again…

7“He said to them: ‘It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority. 8But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.’”
Acts 1:7-8

Things have changed. If you are going to go around being witnesses of who I am and what I have done, that is an immediate indication that I am not going to be with you. But it’s going to be okay because my Father is going to keep His promise and send you the Holy Spirit who will live inside of you. So it will be different, but in a lot of ways, it is going to be better because everywhere you go, I will go with you. No matter where each of you are, you will have me always.
The Bible is al about change. Paul tell us that if anyone is in Christ, He is something brand new – a whole new Creation; say goodbye to the old and hello to the new! (2 Cor. 5:17) All the words that describe your spiritual journey, what happens to you, they’re all about change.

Transformation means change.

Conversion means change.

Repentance means change.

Sanctification means change.

And if you’re going to be a follower of Christ, get ready for change, because who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow.

Losing yourself.

When you come to the end of you...you will come to the beginning of God.

Joey Slayton